Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww - Chucky!

When the local newspaper gives want ad space away for free, there's no telling what shit might show up for sale.

If you're into creepy 80's movie characters, you might want to snap up these fine specimens.  Real movie size, too.

If you buy them, I'd suggest putting a lock on your knife drawer before you go to bed.

Monday, January 17, 2011

A New Year "Two Fer"

It's been several weeks since the last post, so I'm thinking I need to make up for lost time.  Fortunately, today's paper contained a wealth of ...uh...well, not "riches".  In fact, this pair of ads suggests that my neighbors lack some basic understanding of hygiene or personal boundaries...or both.

First, here's a chance to buy the shower stool where somebody's fat uncle sat his fat, dirty ass...

But that's not all you can have today!  How about a used toothbrush?  Really?  Somehow the fact that it comes with new brushes doesn't make up for the fact that IT'S SOMEBODY'S USED F'IN TOOTHBRUSH!

What's next?  Used underwear?

Thursday, November 25, 2010

But they're stylish!

No truth in advertising here.  "Hard to find"?  Obviously the seller hasn't been to our local shopping mall.  These things are everywhere!

DENIM SKIRTS - Hard to find long denim skirts! Created from stylish pants.  Size 8, 10 and 31 waist.  Asking $120.00.   555-555-5555

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Goes with every decor

In our small midwestern town, the local newspaper offers free want ads.  This eliminates any "barrier to entry" to advertising in the paper and makes for fascinating reading.  One of this week's favorites:

DOUGHBOY THROW - New 64" x 64" pillsbury doughboy knit throw.  $55.00.  555-555-5555 after 5:00.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Open for Business

Welcome to Shit My Town Sells. We live in a small midwestern town where the local newspaper offers free want ads. We are constantly amazed and amused by the shit our neighbors advertise for sale. Here's our first example. We're guessing the owner is just too damn lazy to carry it to the trash can:

STEREO White Westinghouse stereo, no speakers, 5 CD changer, dual cassette player, missing one tape door & volume knob. $10.00. [Phone] 555-5555.

No shit. It was really in the paper this morning.